Karaoke night!
by Jillie Rose
Summary: Snape/Sinistra for your perusal. Inspired by 'Lamentations...' by She's a Star, et al. The aftermath of the Yule Ball. And a certain song...
1. Default Chapter

A little Snape/Sinistra ficlet. Blame She's a Star. I have read too much of her work.  
  
Too much of her wonderful fic 'Lamentations of a Starry-eyed Twit', not to mention her partner in crime's 'Diaries of a Dungeon Dwelling moron', can do this to a person.  
  
And listening to too many questionable CDs.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one. The name Auriga belongs to She's a Star. Everything else is JKR's. I am making no money. Which is a pity.  
  
25 December  
  
Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.  
  
I am never leaving the Astronomy Tower again. I will hide up here for the rest of my life. I'm staying up here indefinitely. I cannot face the outside world again.  
  
Notebook, you're the only solace I have. The only one I can confide in. Victoria, even Victoria, my so-called friend is too hysterical (not to mention hungover) to talk to. I told her to lay off the Firewhisky. But no.  
  
I can't bear it. I can't.  
  
I can't be held accountable for my actions. No. No no, I must have been drunk, or drugged, or possessed. Please let me have been drunk or drugged or possessed.  
  
Well, I may as well tell you. It will be a purging process. To let the healing begin, as my psychiatrist says. Former psychiatrist. I only went the once. My mother's idea. "You still haven't got a boyfriend, Auriga? Maybe you should go see someone about that..."  
  
She said I was in denial. Snobby overpaid bint.  
  
The psychiatrist. Not my mother.  
  
Though they both have a similar talent for making me feel useless.  
  
Anyway. Let the purging commence.  
  
Ugh. Bad mental picture there.  
  
It was the Yule Ball. I danced with Professor Moody once (the wooden leg is quite unnerving. He nearly crushed my toes. You'd think he'd be used to it by now) and then I was on patrol.  
  
Albus is a sadist, Snape's right.  
  
I can't believe I said that. Shudder.  
  
I was in a very bad mood, and my bruised toes were really very sore.  
  
Still couldn't bring myself to take points off anyone. Ah well. Maybe next year. But I did reduce a first-year to tears. It wasn't entirely intentional.  
  
Honest.  
  
I had nothing on Snape though. Malevolent bat of a man. Mind you, it is extremely distracting to witness two fourth-years attempting to cut off the other's oxygen supply with their tongues. Ugh.  
  
Shudder.  
  
But that was nothing compared to what happened next.  
  
After the students had gone to bed, the teachers decided...  
  
What am I talking about? Minerva and Albus decided to take the staff out to the Three Broomsticks.  
  
Bad idea.  
  
The Beauxbatons lot and the Durmstrang crew as well!  
  
AND! To make matters worse...  
  
Owing to the fact that most people don't sit in pubs on Christmas Eve, the bar had gone to an all-out effort.  
  
With...Muggle night.  
  
Two words that can strike fear into anyone's heart. But you're a notebook; you don't have a h...never mind.  
  
And that was where the trouble started really.  
  
Snape, of course, was in a perfectly awful temper. Hah. That did give me a modicum of satisfaction.  
  
Then it got even better.  
  
Karaoke.  
  
I wasn't really familiar with the concept before...that night, but the sight of Victoria singing...no, screeching is a better word...  
  
'I Will Survive' at the top of her lungs.  
  
And McGonagall singing 'Spell on my Heart'.  
  
She's never going to live that one down.  
  
Then again, I'm not going to live down what happened next.  
  
Albus really does have a sadistic sense of humour. And because we'd all had rather a lot to drink, all the teachers went along with it.  
  
"Everyone should sing!" he declared cheerfully. Even Snape agreed. And I was a little worried.  
  
The Big Bad Bat? Singing?  
  
I did not just write that. No.  
  
And that is when I should have known something was up. He would never agree to something so degrading or personal when sober. I had no idea what this karrabokey...karreeokey...thing...involved.  
  
But did that stop me? Did it heck. Carried away on a tide of good feeling and alcohol...  
  
I can hardly bear to write it.  
  
But I must. Be strong, Auriga, be strong.  
  
We...Snape and I...  
  
We...ugh.  
  
We sang a duet.  
  
Shudder.  
  
And not just any duet.  
  
"You'll be in my Heart", for crying out loud! Hang on.  
  
That's a Muggle song. How on earth would Severus?...no. I won't think about that.  
  
You're probably wondering how I knew the words, right?  
  
Of course you're not. You're a notebook. But anyway.  
  
It's not my fault I have a fantastic memory for songs. In films I went to see in the Muggle cinema.  
  
Fourteen times.  
  
And I have the... DAG? SVY? DVD. That's it. Well, having a Muggle father has its advantages.  
  
Snape began to sing. Snape. Singing. I was...all right, a bit tipsy, but this was far too good an opportunity to embarrass him. He had a surprisingly silky singing voice. Quite nice actually...no. Must not think that. No. Stoppit.  
  
"Come stop your crying it will be all right  
  
Just take my hand, hold it tight..."  
  
Why me? I was struggling to keep a straight face. Why was he doing this? Probably to embarrass me, the arrogant berk. Well, two could play at that game.  
  
But then it got worse.  
  
He took my hand.  
  
The slimy git. Held. My. Hand.  
  
"I will protect you from all around you  
  
I will be here, don't you cry"  
  
I wasn't crying. But I was a bit teary, if you must know. Well, he was gripping my hand very hard.  
  
"For one so small, you seem so strong"  
  
He nearly stumbled on the word 'strong'. That was probably because I was trying to prise his hand off mine.  
  
"My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm  
  
This bond between us, can't be broken  
  
I will be here, don't you cry"  
  
What on earth was I meant to do? He was out of his mind. Then I saw Albus, and the way his hand seemed to move...oddly of its own accord.  
  
Surprisingly though, it wasn't all that bad. It was so scary with the spotlight on me...on...us. Shudder.  
  
But 't see anyone else. And I do love to sing. What else could I have done?  
  
"Cos you'll be in my heart  
  
Yes you'll be in my heart  
  
From this day on, now and forever more"  
  
And so it went on. I was beginning to enjoy myself.  
  
And then I knew. I had the perfect revenge.  
  
Halfway through the song. I resisted the urge to smirk, and took up my cue for a solo.  
  
"When Destiny calls you, you must be strong"  
  
I sang the 'destiny' with my best knowing smirk. He winced.  
  
"I may not be with you, but you've got to hold on  
  
They'll see in time, I know"  
  
Argh. I have committed social suicide.  
  
Hold on though.  
  
What was Snape doing singing in the first place?  
  
Snape's version of events will come very soon.  
  
There is a little more to it than I think our favourite starry-eyed twit realises.  
  
Mwahaha. I'm a bit evil sometimes.  
  
All comments appreciated. 


	2. Chapter 2

Part Deux. Because you're worth it.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not Harry Potter, nothing.

I've had this ages, and it's been up on Chamber of Secrets, but for you lovely people, here it is!

**Extract from the Diar...Journal of Severus Snape.**

25 December.

I am going to kill him. Torture, maim and destroy him. He will pay for this insult, oh yes. Dumbledore must die!

"Have another Firewhisky, Severus"

"Get yourself another drink, Severus"

"Would you like to come to the Three Broomsticks Severus?"

Bah. Evil, evil man. Sadistic evil malicious evil man.

Can you believe it?

Wait. This is a dia...journal.

I will record, for posterity, exactly what has warranted this just and right vengeance.

He. Made. Me. SING.

I suppose I should relay the full story.

It all started at Halloween...

We were at the Halloween staff meeting. As usual, Minerva's face was frozen into a disapproving frown, Albus tried to forcefeed us sweets, and Sybil Trelawney predicted both my death and that wench Sinistra's.

I was most upset at this.

Not, obviously, because of Sinistra dying.

Quite the opposite.

She'll live forever now, thanks to that old bat.

Wench.

Anyway.

Upon finishing his speech on inter-house cooperation, (sneer) Albus insisted on starting to plan the Yule Ball.

As if we had nothing better to do than plan a Ball!

We could have been…

Planning our lessons.

The nerve!

And then, of course, McGonagall decided to place a Galleon on Neville Longbottom attending the Ball with Ginny Weasley.

And Albus put two Galleons on Cedric Diggory and Cho Chang.

Sinistra put three Galleons on Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger.

Well, she lost.

Hah.

Sneer.

And then Dumbledore…put ten Galleons and a bag of sugar mice on Hermione Granger and Viktor Krum.

I sneered.

In fact, I laughed.

And Dumbledore enquired as to whether I wished to offer an opinion.

Sadistic old schemer.

And I said, "I would bet my life on the fact that Miss Granger, such as the situation is, will no doubt attend the Ball alone. If, indeed, she attends at all."

Why did I say that?

I should have known then.

What with Sinistra smirking at me and all.

Wench.

And that old coot replied, "Really, Severus? If you say so. Well, I think that concludes the Staff Meeting. I shall see you all tomorrow."

And everyone filed out, looking as relieved as Longbottom after a Potions class. Dumbledore's speeches can be more effective than Chinese water torture.

I turned to sweep out, when Dumbledore called me back.

"Would you care to make a bet, Severus?"

"No, thank you, Headmaster" I said, resisting from sneering with great difficulty.

"Even if we made it…more interesting?"

"What did you have in mind, Headmaster?"

Why did I say that?

He smiled benevolently. "A private wager, Severus. If Miss Granger indeed attends the Yule Ball alone, I will happily consent to the refurbishment of your quarters."

I'd been pushing for that for months. It's very chilly down there on your own.

Not, obviously, that I'd want anyone else down there.

Really.

Sneer.

"But, if Miss Granger attends the Ball with Mr Krum…we will have to work out a different arrangement."

"Such as?" I managed, convinced I would win easily.

"Oh, just a simple task, nothing taxing. And I will decorate your rooms anyway."

He smiled cheerily, his eyes twinkling.

Have the man's eyes nothing better to do than twinkle like that? Does he pay so little attention to the fate of the wizarding world hanging in the balance?

Don't do it, my mind said. His eyes are twinkling.

"Yes, of course, Headmaster" said my mouth. Drat it.

I was so sure I would win.

It was a doddle.

Why oh why does that wretched girl hold such power over men?

She already has Potter's ear; Weasley follows her around like a lost puppy; and now this?

It's too much.

She looks like Sinistra, by the Mark!

I'll bet she has powers even the Dark Lord knows not.

Women.

TwitchShudderSneer.

So that is how I came to be on stage with Sinistra.

On Christmas Eve.

In the Three Broomsticks.

Singing.

"Just a little task, Severus. But if I feel that you are not giving it your all…I will be forced to…take more exteme measures."

The twinkle was back.

Drat it.

He was playing so casually with his wand.

Sadistic old man.

He'd be better at the Dark Lord's job than the Dark Lord.

He'd bully thousands into submission by forcefeeding them sherbet lemons.

I had to take her hand.

I had to.

No choice.

He'd have made me anyway.

But I wasn't going to let her enjoy it.

Oh no.

Sneer.

But…as it turns out, her nails are rather long.

And sharp.

And she stood up there, for Merlin's sake, and looked like she was _enjoying_ it?

I do not understand that woman.

Not that I'd want to.

The wench.

Must I write every single thing that comes into my head?

I'm going to stop now.

Now.

Very soon.

Honest.

That's it, I am disposing of this dia...journal this instant!

****

**_26 December._**

**_Hello, Snape._**

**_So nice of you to mention me so much._**

**_You really are obsessive, aren't you?_**

**_You deserved what you got at Christmas._**

**_I only hope my nails left permanent scars._**

_**You really shouldn't try and throw your diary into the lake. You hit Moaning Myrtle on the head. It took me twenty minutes to calm her down.**_

**_For this, though? Absolutely worth it._**

**_Auriga._**

**26 December.**

**Why do people leave their books lying around like this?**

**Of course I only read the last entry.**

**So I knew who to return it to, of course.**

**Auriga, you dirty girl. You told me you weren't sleeping with him!**

**Victoria Vector.  
**

27 December.**  
**

Women.

TwitchShudderSneer.


End file.
